坦诚了又能怎样？
Sunday, October 4, 2015 @ 2:25 AM
一个月过去了。。。
忘记你这回事对我来说真的太难了。
家里的每一个角落都存在着你的影子，
想念的是，你的拥抱，你的吻，你的一切一切。
曾经讨厌的，我都开始想念了。
说好会一直爱我的，你那时的承诺呢？
我好不容易让自己陷了下去，
付出的说多不多说少不少，
不明你为何那么容易就选择放弃。
偶尔会怀疑我对你来说到底有多重要，
在你心里最根部的位置到底有没有刻上我的名字？
很想知道你到底有没有像我想你那样想念我？
会不会偶尔发自内心觉得，
如果有我在身边一切会更好？
独自吃饭时，
会不会想起我们一起用餐的日子，
会不会记得我不吃蛋黄，然后独自傻笑？
会不会偶尔在朋友或家人面前提起我 ？
习惯了单独的生活，却被你一脚踩了进来，
将我生活一切打乱，让我渐渐学会了依靠你。
每次想找人陪我吃饭，第一个在我脑海里闪过的还是你，
可我告诉自己，不能这样，就算饿了自己，也不能找你。
我倒是清楚了,
少了你的那种寂寞真的让人很累，
想见却不能见，
那种痛苦比远距离恋爱来的更深，
因为我知道我再也无法和你面对面了。
看见你我的心真的会像撕裂般痛，
我知道我又会舍不得放开你。
虽然认清了你不会是我的未来，
但我打从心底是多么地想把现实调转，
我好想成为你的未来，
因为对我来说，
就算你再差劲，
你还是会好好疼我，
会不停地宠我。
到现在我还在想，
到底是谁让我们的爱情走到了这一步，
是我吗？
如果真的是我，我好想把时间倒回去，把一切错误修改，从新好好地爱你，不惹你，顺从你。
可是我又会想，就算我真的做到了，你也会兑现你对我的那个承诺吗？
还是无论如何我们的爱情都不会走到最后？
还有很多话想跟你说，
是那该死的自尊把那些心底话封锁起来，滴字不漏。
但是对我来说就算自尊是多么的脏，我也需要它来活下去。
不能就这样把它给了你。
好想问，
你最近好吗？有瘦了吗？课业应付得还好吗？
还有很多很多我都想问，可我害怕如果我开始了，我又会再次问你同样的一个问题，
“我们真的不可能了吗？”
Biography
The name is Joanne Hee. 21 years young.
A law student who has no idea about her future career but is still very much anticipate it.
A girl with strong self-esteem.
Emotional when I'm on my own.
Always laughing infront of the others.
Music is my all time best friend.
I love food and desserts.
Travel is my passion.
I wish to backpack travel the world in the future.
I always have crazy, ridiculous thoughts popping up in my mind. I'm a good thinker.
I'm a nature lover. I was a sea turtle volunteer in Redang Island back in August 2011.
I swim, I play tennis, I skate.
Adventurous.
Listener as well as a talker.
I may look unapproachable to many people but I'm actually a warm person on the inside once you get to know me.
I have a great sense of humor.
I like cool stuffs.
Always love to inspire and be inspired.
My Bucket Wishlist
I always love trying new things, taking up challenges so to push myself one step further to become a better person.
My parents are rather traditional minded so I've been keeping my bucket wishlist in my head until the day I'm ready to realize it because I already know they wouldn't allow me to do most if not all of these things I've listed below.
I'm not sure if I can strike out all of these but I know I'll try my best to realize as many as possible.
This is not an exhaustive list, I come up with new thoughts almost everyday so don't doubt your eyes if what you see now is different from what you're going to see later. :)
1. get a certified open-water diving license
2. learn how to surf
3. do a song cover and post it up on YouTube
4. audition for a Korea entertainment company
5. run a marathon
6. live in the wild
7. travel to as many countries as possible in a row
8. volunteer for a few months in a foreign country
9. take picture infront of the world's top 10 heritage sites
10.try bungy jumping in New Zealand
11.swim with a dolphin
12.skydive
13.master at least one foreign language and use it when I travel to the respective country
14.send a message in a bottle
15.ride a camel to the desert
16.spent the night in Sahara desert
17.learn to say no
18.propose to the person I really love
19.write a fan letter to my all-time favourite artist
20.be the boss
21.write a book
22.stay out all night and go to college/work the next day without having gone home (just once)
23.celebrate my birthday in a foreign country with people I just met
24.run away from home without telling parents (spontaneous backpack)
25.overcome my fear for certain things in life
26.finish a 10,000pcs jigsaw puzzle
27.
28.
29.
30.
"Reality is a lovely place but I wouldn't want to live there." 
